銘刻在身的痛：優秀女性運動員運動身體痛/苦經驗之敘事

Abstract

本研究以質性取向之敘事探究為方法，旨在研究優秀女性運動員運動生涯中所遭遇的各式痛/苦經驗故事，並從中探尋這些運動相關痛/苦經驗的內容及深層意義，以藉此揭示優秀女性運動員的生命情懷與人生意境。 研究以立意取樣選取四位國內在田徑、舉重、網球和羽球等運動競技上，成績最優的現役女性運動員為研究參與者，透過表達的自傳式訪談蒐集資料，經整理、並用敘事分析之「整體-內容」和「整體-形式」為原則，先建構運動員身體痛/苦經驗故事，然後再詮釋故事的深層意義，而這些故事內容與意義也呈現了優秀女性運動員，在其漫長運動生涯中某一種生命情懷與人生意境。

本研究結論如下： 一、優秀女性運動員運動身體痛/苦經驗共有26個項目，分屬身體、心理、社會和文化等四種範疇。 二、運動提供一個使女性運動員展現其運動天賦及致達秀異的平台；且優異的運動成就是優秀女性運動員自我認同及他者指認的根源。 三、運動傷害導致優秀女性運動員體驗：（一）個人身心上一種「立即性墜落」和「立即性失落」的痛苦；（二）個人身心與社會「關係斷裂」的痛苦；（三）存在處境定位上「混沌不明」的痛/苦。 四、運動競技失利，不僅代表優秀女性運動員沒有完成該次比賽的目標；也暗示著她們的運動訓練還有改善的空間；同時她們的自尊和自信也暫時會受到影響；而對競爭失利最嚴重的焦慮感是使她們產生「不如死去」或「快要死了」的類死亡痛/苦意念。 五、儘管運動導致優秀女性運動員經歷各種身、心、社會和文化體驗上的痛/苦，但她們終究仍然願意在運動場上繼續奮鬥。深究原因發現，係因在她們的運動生命、人格、與命運本身蘊含豐沛的「愛」、「熱情」、「勇氣」等重要元素，及強烈追求「自我認識」與「自我實現」的動機。 六、運動員生命存在的意義是在「主體-客體」、「小我-大我」、「痛苦-快樂」、「理性-感性」、「虛假-真實」、「生-死」等結構之相生相映的關係中蘊生。 七、本研究發現，痛/苦現象與經驗是成就菁英運動發展與運動菁英生命成長的重要關鍵，也是使運動和優秀運動員具備神聖性的至要因素。

本研究最後針對「研究中的權力關係」、「文化評論家的論述」、「語言的限制和意義之流變」、「敘說經驗」、「研究結果」及「研究寫作經驗」等提出六點反思，以及六點後續研究之建議。

By qualitative narrative inquiry, this dissertation explores the sufferings of elite female athletes in their sporting career, and probes these painful experiences and significant meanings, by which to reveal their passion for life and living state. By purposive sampling, four nationwide top female athletes respectively in track and field, weight lifting, tennis and badminton are chosen as the research participants. By expressive-autobiographical interviews, data are collected and arranged. With the principles of “whole-content” and “whole-form” in narrative analysis, athletes’ pain/suffering stories are constructed first and their deep meanings interpreted afterward. These stories and meanings present their passion for life and living state in their long sporting career. The research conclusions are as follows: 1. Elite female athletes’ sporting pain/sufferings contain 26 items in total, which can be divided into physical, mental, social and cultural categories. 2. Sports provide a platform for female athletes to show their sports gift and reach distinction. Their achievement in sports brings about their self-identity and helps them win others’ recognition. 3. Sporting injuries cause elite female athletes the following sufferings: first, immediate fall and immediate loss physically and mentally; second, fragmentation in the relationship with the body-mind and society; third, ambiguous position and situation. 4. Failure in the competition not only means that elite female athletes fail to reach the goal in that contest, but also suggests that their practice leaves much room for improvement. Meanwhile, their dignity and self-confidence are affected. The greatest agony about losing games is, making them feel like dying or died that bring them an alternative death’s experience. 5. Despite the physical, mental, social and cultural sufferings, elite female athletes are still willing to continue contending in the stadium. For they are equipped with the elements in their athletic character: love, passion and courage and with high motivation to strive for self-knowledge and self-fulfillment. 6. The meanings of athletes’ existence lie in the dialectical relations: subject-object, id-superego, pain-happiness, sense-sensibility, truth-untruth, life-death. 7. Sufferings are the keys to athletic elites’ sporting development and achievement, and the elements to render elite athletes and sports sacred. Last, reflective narratives are also suggested in six respects: power relation in the research, discourses of cultural critics, limits in languages and transformation in meanings, narrative experiences, results, and dissertation writing experiences; as well as six recommendations are shown for future study.